2013- A year in review.

So, 2013 started off with a bang- well a BFP at any rate. We’d been trying since April 2013, so it was a good 9 months, which I now realise in the IF world is not really all that long. Everything seemed to be going well, I’d heard of MMCs but I only knew one person IRL that had ever had one. My symptoms were less than when I’d had my DD, sure, but everything I read suggested that every pregnancy was different.

My life changed on Tuesday 26th February- I went into that 12 week scan without much of a worry. I’d already seen a healthy HB at 8 weeks. When I was told there was something wrong, my heart sank. It was confirmed as an MMC on 1/3/2013.

I went into meltdown for the next few months, angry at everything and everyone. My desperation to be pregnant again was overwhelming. 5 months later, I got my wish. Sadly, this pregnancy ended the same way. 1/10/2013, the bad news was confirmed.

So, 2013 has consisted of 2 MMCs and 2 ERPCS. It’s also consisted of about a million successful pregnancy announcements (or so it feels like). These events have overshadowed all of the good, and if I’m honest, there has been some good to come out of 2013. So today’s blog post is going to focus on the good, and forget the fact that this morning, the anniversary of that BFP, my period started to arrive (brilliant timing eh??) It seems the first day of the month is not a lucky day for me.

So, the positives…
1.) I found out who my true friends are- and I met some new ones who have helped me through this journey.
2.) I gained a clear realisation of just how precious and how much of a miracle my little DD is. I’d always taken for granted that I’d be able to have number 2 just as easily as I managed number 1. She was meant to be, pure and simple!
3.) I learned a bit of compassion.
4.) I went to Disneyland Paris and had the best family holiday ever.
5.) I went on two short cruises, just me and DH, and enjoyed that time away, just us two.
6.) We bought our first home, and it’s everything I ever wanted in a place.

I’m trying not to set my expectations too high for 2014. I have no control over the events that will happen or the obstacles that will be put in my path. My only wish is to do my best, to not let life drag me down as it did in 2013. To appreciate what I already have (and there are lots of things I already have that I wanted so much in the past). I want this to be the year that I take care of myself, and I mean that in so many different ways; my health, my sanity, my body.

I hope 2014 is kind to you all.